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Louie Anderson

American, Comedian

Total Quotes : 26

Myself Ashamed Anybody

I felt ashamed for what I had done. I don't have any excuses. I did what I did. I take full responsibility for myself and my actions. I wouldn't pawn this off on anybody. I'm sorry it happened. And I hurt people.

- Louie Anderson

Me More Comedians

All great comedians make me laugh, but people make me laugh more.

- Louie Anderson

Vegas Boy Been

I've been in Vegas. That's where you get into the money thing. Boy, you get greedy in Vegas, you know. That's the only place that you can bet $25, get it up to $500 and refuse to quit.

- Louie Anderson

Book Communicate Very

Dr. Phil was very helpful and caring. I believe he helped all of us there and watching how to better relate, understand, and communicate with our families and loved ones. Dr. Phil recommended reading my new book.

- Louie Anderson

Warm Vegas Very

I have a very warm spot in my heart for Vegas.

- Louie Anderson

Long Between Stay

I can't stay long; I'm in between meals.

- Louie Anderson

Me Thanks Were

We were on welfare when we were kids. Thanks for reminding me of that.

- Louie Anderson

Real Estate Sign

A real estate closer. Oh, what's that? I'm a real estate opener. What is a real estate closer? You mean at the end where you've got to sign all those papers?

- Louie Anderson

Good Gift Almost

I really try to have fun. If I don't have fun, you won't have fun. That's what my gift is: to relieve people from a little of the pain and comfort in their lives by allowing my comedy to distract them. A good laugh is almost as good as any doctor visit.

- Louie Anderson

Want Bed Go Home

I'm a 7 o'clock act. My people want to go to a show, a dinner and then go home and go to bed.

- Louie Anderson

Young Famous Autograph

I was with a famous comedian when a young fan walked up and asked for an autograph. The comedian blew him off. I'll never forget the look on the young boy's face. He was devastated.

- Louie Anderson

Asking Show Been

I had been asking the universe and God to send me a way for me to help me. Show business has been so wonderful to me, and it came in the form of that. It's just so funny how things come into your life, and if you take a chance on them, it might give you a brand new life.

- Louie Anderson

Career Big Big Part

I started a big part of my career in Vegas.

- Louie Anderson

Think Going Get

We all think we're going to get out of debt.

- Louie Anderson

Wait Here Oh My God

You can't open anything after your 50. You have to wait 'til people stop by the house. 'Oh my God, I'm glad you're here.'

- Louie Anderson

Love Think I Love

Minnesotans really think they run the whole world, I love that.

- Louie Anderson

Bed Crunch Laying

If I have food in the house and I'm laying in bed, I go, 'I bet that Captain Crunch is lonely in the cupboard.'

- Louie Anderson

Memory Hours Angeles

I have about 1,000 hours of myself on tape in a vault in Los Angeles. But I also have a photographic memory about my jokes, because they're really about me; they're my stories.

- Louie Anderson

Enough Say About

You have to be funny about it and honest about it. You can't leave yourself out of that mix. You have to be honest enough to say, I'm that messed-up one in the family.

- Louie Anderson

Person Successful Person

Well, isn't every successful person in every family the bankbook?

- Louie Anderson

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